Silver Musing
by Eternal Musing
Summary: [ONE SHOT] Yue's last thoughts, one scene in particular...


My first fanfiction. It started off as a musing, never thought I would actually put online for others to read. WARNING! This is not a "happy ever after" fanfic, so, yeah...

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Silver Musing:

Silver laced leaves hung lifeless in the still air. Not a breath of wind stirred the tranquil night. It was late; the watchful moon had nearly finished its silent journey across the darkened sky. Under the navy heaven, time hung motionless. All the sorrows of life fades to nothingness as one lose themselves in the soft mist of silver light. Everything was perfect, and for a moment I could close my eyes and forget everything... everything. It has been many a year since I last came here, and yet not many things have changed. Nature had done her work; the land that was once cleared of greenery has now a land forgotten by civilization. It seemed only yesterday when we were all here, the three of us. But then again, the concept of time did not mean anything to me. My life; a timeless voyage of dream and reality, of faded memories and forgotten promises. Now, as the end glides ever nearer, I could not but help but let my gaze drift into the beautiful recollections of my past.

How long has it been? From what Kero has told me, it been at least a thousand years since our powers were sealed with the death of our Master. Clow; how I longed to return to the days where everything was perfect. A particular image floated to my mind, all red and golden in its glory. It was one warm autumn afternoon, the majestic trees shedding leaves whose colors varied from faded amber to one of light brown or tinted with russet- red. My brother is there, sleeping amongst a carpet of leaves; fur of liquid amber laced with threads of golden shimmered in a tawny mirage. Lying asleep under the afternoon sun, the tip of his tail would occasionally twitch; A small insight into the dreams of the guardian. A single brown leaf floated down from above; it's path unpredictable, yet the destination was inevitable. As the leaf drifted past my gaze, a sudden burst of wind blew strands of white across my vision. Brushing away the disheveled locks, my eyes traveled across the leaf covered garden. Seated near Kero, under the warm rays of the setting sun, was the robed figure of Clow Reed.

He was still, a gentle smile lingering on his face as dark eyes gazed peacefully at my sleeping brother. A placid wind swept through his hair, soft black tresses swaying gently across his shoulders. Gazing at our master, I felt a strange sensation seeping through my body. Our master, our creator, our father. He was everything to us, he was all we had. I knew that he was different from us, that he was human and would one day leave us. Every time I see him, the pains of immortality pierce deep into my soul. But for now, this moment, this second, everything was perfect. I knew that no matter how many centuries I live, or how the world around my changes, my heart would forever reside in this one perfect memory.

Over the silver tipped leaves, soft wings of air brushed through the still sky, the movement above shaking me back to reality. At the back of my mind, I could feel my barrier slowly fading. I do not have much time left, and there is yet much to do, to finish once and for all. Turning around, my gaze rested upon the dark earth that had just been dug. Beneath the soft soil rests the body of my mistress. Pushing away the pain of loss, I called out the recess of my last reserve. Concentrating upon the power of the moon, I channeled it into Wood; one of the last spirits that chose to remain in my mistress's service rather than to be free. Sensing her response, I whispered my command, no, not a command, but a request. "I know that you are loyal to my mistress, and that you did not wish to return to your free state. So I have a thought. Glancing down to the disturbed earth, I closed my golden eyes for a moment. "Here rests the body of your mistress. My power is near gone, and after that there would be no one to protect her. Would you guard over her after I am gone? You could free your spirit here, and grow and shelter this place? I know there is not much magic left in this place, but with both your power and the remains of Clow's magic, it should be enough to defend here against the other spirits after my barrier disappears."

A moment passed, my inner thoughts struggling against one another, before I drew all of my remaining magic and let it flow into Wood. I hope that it was enough to keep her and this land safe. And before my eyes, the small form of the emerald dryad was engulfed in a mist of deep green. Slowly the mist expand, expanding and cover the whole ground, and then it started to grow. Saplings, bushes, grass; growth that should take years finished in the matter of seconds. Soon, the presence of her spirit faded, the forest around me her last legacy.

Something fell onto my silver hair, yet another brushed my cheek, a gentle touch like a butterfly's delicate wings. Catching the floating object in my fist, I opened my hand. A petal greeted me; one of pure white that slowly swept into a color of a softest pink. Lifting my amber gaze from it, I slowly turned around. There, above the place where my mistress's body laid, a magnificent tree stood. Emerald leaves curled out from the branches, tiny cherry blossoms were in full bloom, filling every part of the boughs. Reaching into the sky, above the vast trunk, the limbs stretched protectively over its namesake's grave. A soft wind flowed past us, blowing strands of silver and petals of pale pink across my vision. Already the carpet of green grass was flecked with the fragile flowers, green against white.

Touching my barrier again, I closed my eyes for a moment. Everything was finished, and now the final moments were near. Have I done everything? Touya was sheltered by my barrier, and the protection would not end until I am gone. After I am gone?My mind shifted to Yukito, and concern for my incarnation grew. Would he become a target of the freed spirits? No, they are only after those whose magic they are familiar with, and without my presence the power of the moon would also disappear, and Yukito would just be another normal human. Neverless, ease did not come until I requested Wood to watch over him.

There, now all is finished, and I could finally rest. Already I feel my life force seeping away, and my vision started to fade. I have always wondered what it would feel like to die like a human, to have all of your sorrow and despair forever leaving. The silver light of the moon was slowly replaced by a garden filled with essence of autumn. As my conscious gradually bled away, the image became more focused. I see my brother; lying on the blanket of gold speckled green, he rolled over, great amber eyes opening as a yawn escaped fanged jaws. Blinking sleep from his mind, Kero turned his head and looked over at Clow. I could remember snickering at the pose Kero made; on his back, with his four great paws clawing lazily in the air. Hiding a smile behind his hand, Clow turned his gaze from my brother to me. "You ask me what is the meaning of life, what do humans live for." Smiling, he swept his robed arm in a wide arc, gesturing to our surrounding. "Remember this moment, Yue. Remember the warmth, the happiness, the simple joy of living. Humans live out their lives, trying to find moments like this. Some find it, many fail, but the knowledge of moments like this is what humans live for. This is a sanctuary from the pains of life, where one could forget all hurt and ache of loss." His eyes looked into mine, the kindness and knowledge of life penetrates into my soul as his soft voice pierces my mind.

Back then, I could not understand. How could I, when the bittersweet experience of existence had not yet touched me. And now? As my conscious drifts into unconscious and into the past, I could not help but give a sad smile. Now, I still could not completely understand. I know that the meaning of life would always be of a mystery to me. But now, as I felt the last shred of my awareness leaves me, I gaze into the perfect autumn sunset and the flawless instant, I know that at least I have found my sanctuary.

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I have a whole folder on what exactly happened and how it got to this stage...If you liked "Silver Musing", then please take a look at "Chain Reaction". If anyone likes this fanfic and wants to know more, please tell me. Oh, yeah, one more thing. Any review, flames or otherwise are very welcome. 


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